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The Beginning Again
How many times can one person start over? Probably more than you think. Personally, I have completely rewritten my life more than a dozen times so far.
There are many things that can lead to a rewrite: a new job, a big move, divorce, among countless others. Of course, none of these MUST lead to a rewrite, but they often do.
I’m starting again, right now, not for any of the aforementioned reasons, but because I am about to turn fifty. It seems like a good time to look at where I am, where I want to be, and then be honest about whether I’m heading in the right direction. No other birthday has affected me so. I’ve always just rolled with them, but fifty looks different. Why?
I suppose that for the first time, I realized that my life is at least half over, probably much more than that. My father is the oldest a man in our family has ever been and he is only seventy-three. I hope that he has a few more years left, but the reality is that he is on borrowed time. Four stents and the beginnings of dementia are his ticking time-bombs.
While there is really no escaping our ultimate demise, my goal with the rest of my time on this planet is twofold:
- Delay the inevitable as long as reasonably possible.
- Live my remaining days in fullness, joy, and consistent spiritual/emotional growth.
With my last breath, I want to KNOW that I lived the most I could.
- I want to leave a legacy of joyful remembrance in the minds and hearts of those I love.
- I want to die knowing that I made this world a little better than the one I was born in to.
If I can do that, I can die a happy man.
What is Half One Hundred All About?
This website is nothing more than documentation of my attempt to accomplish what I have outlined above. These words are breadcrumbs for others to follow. They are memories for my loved ones to look back upon when they remember the things we did and discussed together. This site is proof that I tried. Regardless of whether I succeed or fail, here are my field notes from the expedition.
This is an Expedition
So many times, we say we are going to do something. We dream about it, talk about, even plan for it, but that is as far as it ever goes. Half One Hundred is not that. This is an expedition. I’m heading out into parts unknown with a vague idea of what I’m looking for and the mindset of an explorer who is open to the possibility that everything I expect is bullshit.
The truth of looking for a better life is that no one can tell you how to find one. I’m really sorry to crush all the hopes that the self-help section promises, but in reality, we each have to take our own expeditions. That doesn’t mean we can’t (or shouldn’t) learn from those who have gone before us on similar expeditions. In fact, that is precisely what I believe you should seek in the books, movies, and stories of human triumph that many of us look to for help in navigating the complexities of life.
This is no different than how Teddy Roosevelt or Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton read voraciously before setting out to explore the Amazon or Antarctica. Even though they were exploring places unknown, others exploits informed their preparation and ultimately their success. On that note, many might say that Shackleton failed in his expedition, however, in my mind, it is impossible to call his return from the teeth of Hell a failure.
What Happens Next?
This is a big question. I have no way, presently, to answer it. What I can say is that whatever is next will be challenging. It will sometimes be daunting, sometimes mildly annoying, but nevertheless always worth exploring.
There will be joys and celebrations too I hope. After all, what is the point of this if it only makes me miserable? Then again, where the miserable meets the success can sometimes be difficult to ascertain in the throes of the fight. Again, look at Shackleton’s story. Still, if this becomes nothing but a endless journey through suffering, I will pursue another path. I’m okay with suffering toward a purpose but not suffering on purpose.
What to Expect From Here
I don’t know what challenges I will face over the next weeks, months, or years, but I commit to sharing my notes here at least once a week, often more. No expedition is complete without regular and detailed dispatches alerting interested parties to the happening of said expedition. So you can expect detailed updates here regularly. Additionally, you may want to head over to YouTube and search for Half One Hundred there too, as I will be posting content along the same lines there as well. I’ll be sure to update the links here when the channel has enough content to actually be useful to anyone interested enough to follow me there.
I hope that you will join me on this journey. I hope that my breadcrumbs will lead you to a better and more fulfilling life experience and that they might inspire you to leave your own breadcrumbs for future explorers. Cheers, and may your trails be ever-winding.